Building Relationship Over a Cup of Tea
Gosh, we lead busy lives don’t we? So many of us are trying to maneuver through busy overcrowded schedules and it is easy to feel overwhelmed. There is so much to do and so little time. Then we are increasingly bombarded with information. Technology is amazing, but often it seems to pull us in a thousand directions at once. It’s becomes hard to focus and connect meaningfully with others.
My partner and I do not have children at home anymore. Our children are young adults making their way in the world, but we still find life is hectic. Our work schedules don’t easily mesh and if we are not careful it is all too easy to rush through our days and lose touch with each other.
Do you ever feel as if you want to get off this crazy merry go round called life and just s-l-o-w things down?
One of the ways my partner and I slow down our days is to enjoy a daily tea ritual together. Almost every day we sit at the kitchen table and have a cup of tea together. During this time our devices are off and we enjoy some uninterrupted conversation.
Our teatime usually happens when we connect after work. The kettle goes on, the teapot is warmed, the tea is selected, and brewed. Then we sit with the teapot, pour out the tea and talk. I love this daily time together.
- It gives us the chance to catch up with each other, to talk about our day with its joys and challenges.
- It allows us to share items of interest we have read, or heard about, that day. We also talk over news items that concern us.
- We also have the opportunity to daydream together and figure out how to make some of those dreams a reality.
- We laugh at the antics of our cat Bilbo who often figures that this is the perfect time to get some attention from his people.
We try to take this time together every-single-day. Even on the weekends. It is a calm oasis of peace and connection to look forward to each day. It is also something that has really helped our relationship.
1. It Helps Grow Relationship
We all know that good communication and time together is key to any healthy relationship. It takes time and attention to keep our relationships vibrant. But it can be hard to find that time. All too often the days slip by and you suddenly realize that it has been weeks, or even months, since you connected meaningfully. Enjoying a daily ritual of connection and conversation simplifies things and makes it easy to spend time together.
2. It Helps Keep Us Grounded
The craziness of my days sometimes leaves me feeling fragmented and pulled in a dozen directions. Our daily tea ritual helps to ground me and reminds me of what is really important. It is so helpful to stop for a while every day.
3. It Demonstrates Love
I really appreciate the fact that my partner puts aside this time every day to be with me. It is so easy to say, “I love you,” but if our actions don’t match our words we send mixed messages. The fact that my partner shows up every day for tea demonstrates that he values me and wants to be a part of my life. That is a wonderful testimony to his love. What a gift!
4. It Is Good For Us
I have found that our conversations over tea deepen our relationship and create intimacy. Human beings are wired for intimacy and connection, but this seems to be harder and harder to find in today’s fast paced world. Taking time everyday to connect meaningfully is really good for our emotional and mental well-being.
Today, many families deal with overcrowded schedules, long work hours, and the ever-increasing distraction of technology. It is all too easy to end up feeling harried and disconnected from loved ones. Developing a daily ritual is a simple way to help us make time for those we love. In our house this connection occurs over a shared cup of tea (and evening meals). You can develop your own rituals. It doesn’t have to be a tea, connection can happen over a glass of water, or milk and cookies. But if you make a point of sitting down and talking together everyday you will build a strong relationship. And that is a precious gift of love.
I so appreciate the work Carol Archambeault is doing at the The Shared-Meal Revolution to help families connect over meals. I believe she has an important message in our increasingly disconnected society.
I’d love to hear from you. What daily rituals help you connect with your family?
Sharon Harding is a trained educator and mother to 3 adult children. She blogs at Rediscovered Families < http://rediscoveredfamilies.com/> where she writes about building relationship and creating deep connections with your children.
http://flic.kr/p/31caab Photo credits: Creative Commons at Flickr / photographer Simon Law